Why CHURCH PASTORS and CHRISTIANS should read this book…

Everyone knows a gay person these days, but few books about the plight of the non-straight have been written with the straight reader in mind (my mother and my pastors).

Few choose the “ex-gay” path, so my journey is unusual, but also relevant as I am able to relate my personal crusade to “de-gay” to the larger cultural questions being debated (even as I write these words) in politics and religion:

Is being gay a choice?  Is it a sickness or a sin?

Can a gay person change? 


If you’re a church pastor or leader, you are undoubtedly dealing with these issues.  So I hope and pray my book will enlighten, challenge, and of course, entertain.

I knew one thing for sure as a tormented high school kid in Texas: I would kill myself before I ever told my mother.  She grew up Southern Baptist.  It would destroy her.

So I had one option: change!   My crusade for the holy grail of heterosexuality would ultimately consume my teens and twenties and in whole would include:

  • Campus Crusade for Christ Bible study leader at Penn State and UCLA.
  • Earning a degree in Psychology from UCLA.
  • Three years of psychotherapy with a Jewish Hungarian Psychoanalyst.
  • A year of immersion inside the Playboy Mansion as a butler to Hugh Hefner.
  • Listening to and financially supporting James Dobson of Focus on the Family
  • Three years of “spirit-filled” Christian counseling with a Christian “men’s mentor.”
  • “Ex-gay” counseling with Joe Dallas, former president of Exodus International.
  • Aligning with Promise Keepers and attending conventions five years in a row.
  • A decade of accountability from church pastors and Bible study brothers.
  • Over a decade of zealous involvement in several churches: Methodist, Episcopal, Baptist, Charismatic, Church of Christ, Presbyterian, and “non-denominational.”

With the Boy Scouts of America narrowly voting to allow gay youth but not gay leaders; the recent Supreme Court decisions setting the stage for a showdown in states over the divisive issue of “marriage equality;” and measures being debated to ban “ex-gay” treatment methods for minors, my experience allows me to speak to both sides of the debate, offering healing and clarity on perhaps the most divisive cultural issue of our time. 

This book is for grandmothers who “just don’t understand” their gay grandson and how they can be “that way,” the conservative father who has exiled his gay son until he changes, and the mother who refuses to set a place at the table for her lesbian daughter’s partner.

Most advocating for “traditional values” don’t know what it’s like to be gay (and not want to be), the soul torture instigated by “pro-family” rhetoric, and the untenable anxiety when one is forced to be closeted in ones fraternity, family or church in order to be accepted into the fold.

Most “values voters” still view gays as “the other,” their gayness a choice and a lifestyle.

If that describes you, I hope you read my book.

You can read a free excerpt or download a copy on Amazon.

I welcome your thoughts/comments and invite you to contact me directly.

email: bryanchristopher(at)me(dot)com

Bryan Christopher

Can a gay person CHANGE–with the help of Hugh Hefner & Jesus Christ?

Unforgettable. This book will stay with me the rest of my life.” Amazon Reviewer Andreas

As a boy raised under the blinding Friday Night Lights of the Bible belt of Texas–from the playground to the pulpit–one message was clear: “queers” deserved to be smeared. And at the dawn of puberty, Bryan knew he was in trouble: he was staring limply at the pages of his dad’s Playboy. That’s when the hiding began. And in his neck of the woods, it left him with only one viable option: change!

Hiding from Myself: A Memoir

“Hiding from Myself: A Memoir” chronicles the author’s zealous crusade: from ringing doorbells for Jesus in the Castro of San Francisco to sorting through Hugh Hefner’s dirty laundry as a butler at the Playboy Mansion; from the beer-soaked trenches of his UCLA fraternity house to wholehearted immersion in ex-gay conversion therapy.

At twenty-three, his mission hit a snag.

His first “experience” in college had resurfaced as a fraternity brother and college basketball player (and despite the reprogramming, he was still in love with him, which is definitely not straight), so one tortuous night he hit bottom, desperately dialing a number advertised on Christian radio–a suicide hotline for maladjusted fundamentalist Christians.

If homosexuality is a sickness and a sin, then a Christian psychiatric ward promised to be an answer to his prayers. And from the hotline counselor, it sounded like Jesus was not only on staff, but his miracles would be fully covered by his COBRA plan. After 72 hours in the New Life clinic, he returned to his old life as an aspiring actor in Hollywood, pledging to redouble his efforts to heal his “sexual brokenness.” As Bryan walked the straight-and-narrow in Hollywood–hoping it would make him straight–he found the narrow path to have more twists and turns than he could ever have imagined.

With this raw and moving testimony, the author offers healing and a fresh perspective on perhaps the most divisive social issue of our time. Bryan’s story is not a “gay” story or even an “ex-gay” story; his is a human story–a testament to the innate universal need for love.

And the things that can sometimes get in the way…


NEW POLL: “Why should I take time out of my busy and important life to read about yours?”

Maybe you’re thinking: Great, you wrote a memoir.  Good for you!

WHY should I take the time to read it?!

If that’s you, you can read a free excerpt on Amazon or take the poll below…